Finally, 'Talking Smack' is here!

For a number of years I have been encouraged to write a book for parents helping them navigate the issue of alcohol and drugs with their children. Our kids receive hundreds of messages about drugs and alcohol every year - at school, from their friends, through the media, and yes, from you. Having counseled hundreds of parents and spoken on this subject in countries around the world, I decided it was finally time to put some thoughts together in book form. Admittedly, this project took much longer than I had planned, and after four years, it was published two months ago. The title of the book is, 'Talking Smack. Who's Talking to Your Kids About Drugs and Alcohol if You're Not?'

I am not an author that has books jumping out of me every year, but this one has been born out of a passion to encourage parents and provide them with some simple tools that really work. I can't claim to own all of these ideas, as they are based on the successes and failures of thousands of parents. In fact, in this book, I attempt to address the most frequently asked questions parents have about the topic (these were gleaned from a survey of more than 15,000 parents).

I'm going to summarize some of the key points from my book in future blogs, and would love to receive your feedback. In fact, if you've got questions, including about a situation you might be facing, feel free to post it in the comments box, and I'll do my best to respond so that other parents can benefit from the dialog too.

'Talking Smack' is available through Amazon and most bookstores.

Scorpions for lunch?

Just landed in Singapore after 3 days in Beijing, China. Unfortunately, I was unable to get access to my blog to post up to date information, so I'm going to try and catch you up a little.

Although the purpose of this trip was strictly business, there were moments when I asked myself to what lengths does a person go to represent his organization well? His own manhood? His family name? His nation? Okay, I went a little too far there! But to what degree does one go to when it comes to food and not wanting to offend guests? I know, I know. I have friends who say "try everything at least once, it's not going to kill you" or "don't be chicken." But hey, they weren't sitting at the same dinner table!

Let me give you an example of what I ate a few nights ago. I also rated them, with five stars being excellent.

• Duck Tongue (felt like I was eating one of my knuckles) * See photo above.
  
• Duck Feet Webbing (I've never tasted human skin before, but I wonder if? ... no) *
  
• Goose Liver (very rich and thick with jelly on top) *
  
• Curried Tofu (loved it) * * * *
  
• Bamboo Soup (this is from the inside of a bamboo plant and I was assured it was not the type I would find in my garden. That gave me some comfort) * * *
  
• Peking Duck (Five Start rating says it all) * * * * *
  
• Fried Chilli Shrimp with the shell * * * * * (Stunning taste once you get past the sensation of feeling as though you're eating a cockroach)
  
• Pea Leaf * * * * (I had to throw in at least one healthy dish)
  
• Fried Bean Curd Skin * * * (Better than it looked - quite tasty)
  
• Lychees for dessert * * * * (Beautiful. Fresh. Not canned. We got to peel the skin off them)
  

There were other dishes too, but some of them had such elaborate names I can't remember them. Possibly just as well. It would be remiss of me not mention how much I appreciate the sensitivity of some of my friends. One even sent me a twitter message to let me know that he had just eaten a hamburger as if to say, he was having more of a good time than I was! He might have enjoyed his meal, but he doesn't have the same bragging rights!

Just when I was content that I had 'taken one for the team', three of my friends, Stan, John and Wee Min came back the following day from one of their escapades to brag that they had just eaten fried scorpion. I let that one go. I wasn't in the mood!

Fish Spa

I've heard of many ridiculous, funny and surprising things, but over the last couple of days I came across something that initially I thought was a joke. A fish spa!

Now forgive me, but never having previously experienced a pedicure, I came across the latest eco-friendly, health craze. What better way to trim the toe nails or remove the dead skin cells under your feet than to have fish do it for you? Now, I know you think I'm crazy, but it's true. After I took a photo as proof for my friends back home, my Malaysian friend pressured me to give it a go. Being the compliant person I am, I did. I dipped my feet into a small pool filled with 1,000 Doctor Fish and allowed them to feed on my feet - literally!

Initially, I lasted for about 5 seconds, as the tickling sensation was simply too much! After 3 or 4 dips, I managed to leave my feet in for about 15 minutes until a fresh set of feet found their way into the pool. The feet felt great afterwards, and yes, they remained in tact. Not a bad pedicure for $1.50 eh?

No Apologies

Just sat through a presentation in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, highlighting the impact of a program that encourages teenagers to make wise decisions in regards to sex and relationships. Ultimately, it is designed to protect kids from some of the potential repercussions of unwanted pregnancies, STDs, reputation, etc, by encouraging them to wait until they are married. Hard to do in our sex-saturated, media dominated world? Absolutely. Possible? Yes. Reliable? Yes. Might sound like a gimmick, but it's not. More than 2.5 million young people have gone through the program. Recently, from a longitudinal study completed in Malaysia, between 2003 and 2007, 91% of all kids who made a pledge to abstain have continued to keep their commitment. Given the small amount of financial resources put into educational programs that promote abstinence, it seems unjust that they cannot obtain the same amount of funding available that goes to programs that see abstinence as a waste of time.

'Family' a universal language

I arrived in KL, Malaysia yesterday morning and find myself listening to some inspiring leaders who have a heart for families throughout China and SE Asia. Leaders from China, Taiwan, Singapore, Indonesia and Malaysia. There is no doubt in my mind that 'family' represents a universal language. As one young single mother said to me a number of years back, no child wanted to grow up and become a drug addict. They aspired for something greater. The same for married couples and parents. Couples want their marriages to succeed, and parents want the best for their kids. My passion in life, is how can I help them to succeed?

Priceless

On my 17:25 hour flight from Los Angeles to Singapore, I read one of the most personally challenging books I have read called, 'Priceless.' A book by my friend Tom Davis. Tom is the President of Children's Hopechest, an organization committed to providing physical, medical and spiritual welfare to orphans predominantly in Africa and Russia. This book is the 2nd book in a trilogy that he is writing. In his first book, Scared, he writes a story on the HIV/AIDS pandemic in Swaziland where hundreds of thousands of young children have lost their parents and are raising their younger siblings. Through the lens of a New York photo journalist, Tom follows the life of a young remarkable girl.

Tom's 2nd book, 'Priceless', sees the same photo journalist go to Russia where he finds himself precariously caught in the middle of a dangerous human trafficking situation. It's not only riveting, I found myself trying to decide how I would react if I found myself in a similar situation. This is a heartbreaking topic and one that is not easy to read about or talk about. It was impossible for me to read this and not think about my own young daughter. Children, the same age as my daughter, are being sold into sex slavery every day. Not hundreds, not thousands, not hundreds of thousands, but hundreds of millions. Incomprehensible? Yes. I am trying to learn more about how I can help. It is so removed from my comfortable lifestyle, but I cannot continue to ignore it.